he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
