Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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