I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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