How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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