It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
