He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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