Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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