4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
