We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
