I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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