Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
