I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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