So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
the raccoons are back...
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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