its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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