At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
