So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
It's just like the Real World with babies
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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