Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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