I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
