She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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