wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it glows. i had to have it.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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