Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
