Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
