brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
