My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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