member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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