Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
