that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
