this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
