Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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