So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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