Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
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I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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