Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
