i always forget guys have bellybuttons
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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