Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize