i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
