You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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