I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
