Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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