i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
