I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
