I puked a lego.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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