we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
