With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
