Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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