His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We are two peas in an std pod
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
