Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
