Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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