I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
