Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
