Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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