and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
