So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
