I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
