her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
