I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
