He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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