I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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