I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
