I need help removing her.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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