I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
